Wednesday, January 30, 2008

pronouncing love


A rooftop and rushing breeze… full of energy to toss everything to pieces…
She stands alone with in the sea of faces…. She loves rooftops and she obviously loves breeze …

“Weather is good” someone remarked…. “Its romantic” she amended….
As she speaks the word her tongue paused for a second….

Romantic….. Romantic…. Romantic….

“Is it really romantic or I am romanticizing…”

She went in to contemplation

“I had been romanticizing all through…. Defined love by his actions…
Understood longing by his pain…. Kept him on high altar as someone who went through worst to find me…. He deserves the best…. Remodeled the lifestyle… remodeled the perception (how successfully is still debatable)….. Found (built) reasons for eccentric behavior…. Happily accepted all what comes as a package called ‘him’….. Am I really happy… is this what I longed for, aspired for, dreamt of….and waited for”

“Oh! Its really romantic from this rooftop when I look at the setting sun as it says goodbye to rest in the cozy embrace of its beloved hills, ranging all across the western horizon…. As it sets and asks me to rush to you and get engulfed by you …. Remain in between your vast chest and tight clasp of long arms forever.... I wish you were here…
I wish you would pick my call for once …..And your voice showers the unmatched love of yours…. The unbroken spell on me….”

“To hell with romance…. I have to finish lots of work today…” she shakes her head and comes back to her workplace…. But she can’t shake the idea just like that

I miss you …. I miss you….. Oh! I miss you…..

She cant work….. forces herself, but cant…..

In a blink she is back to the rooftop…. That’s the only solace … rooftop is the silent companion a constant one…

Cigarette in hand she lights... and watches the setting sun doing all the mischieves with the ranging hills…. It lights them up… brush them with the rays…. They are all aroused … it hides behind them slowly …. Orgasmic….

As much as the cigarette on the lips…

She sucks in the smoke and it sucks the tenderness of her lips…. Both of them on mission…. Puff by puff…. Slow but intense….Inhaling smoke she knows its just for a drag that she can forget him….not even that…. He will again take the center stage and there is no running away from him… his memories… his ways of life…. His thought process…. He has overpowered every other addiction and she is now addicted to him…. Paralyzed without him…

Cigarette is no replacement to his supple lips…. This rooftop is no replacement to his cozy embrace…

I love you…. Love you…. Love ….. Ha ha ha ha….

Monday, January 28, 2008

is it you or me

There wasn’t urgency,
But there could be...
Don’t know where this all would take us
As you go silent with me
Experience is the teacher,
And a student I should be...
Thought existence is non trivial
Till only such interval…
Stopped me...
Is it me who is so dumb and ignorant?
Or is it you who's excuses…..
Go as lame as it could be…….

Friday, January 25, 2008

woman who doesnt cry


Not many people could ever make me cry…… I don’t .... I just don’t cry…..
Whatever happens (quite unlike for a woman)….

I have told people two things repeatedly
1. my attention span is very less (they think otherwise)
2. my emotional quantum is low (they think otherwise)
So I don’t pay attention to so many things that can move people to be moved by it and even if I force myself to attend to such “things” I am not “moved” much.

That’s how it was always… all along but I too have my moments when I wept…. Not a roar and cry but I went speechless and tears rolled down…. Every time I visit such occasions I promise myself not to visit them again…. This promise is turning me to someone who doesn’t get moved ever, so she doesn’t cry ever…..

What was the last time I cried my heart out….. When was it and who made me do that?…. Nah no memory of it….. I have forgotten how to cry….

Is it good or bad?

Thursday, January 3, 2008

four he must shed


Oo my dream, let you not be incognito.
Let him discover you..
Beyond fear,
Beyond doubt,
Beyond surprise,
And beyond confusion.
The four he might dread.
And four he must shed.
May you come to his cognition.
When the time be.
Let me dwell in you till the time be