What was I doing when he had to walk for 24 hours to reach his nearest shelter some 3 years back followed by pneumonia … when Mumbai was washed by rains and had almost been abandoned by its caretakers…
Memories always betray me… I usually don’t have much to remember when I know I had suffered. I suffer and forget… erase the incidents and dates and there are no memories. Mind machine does it all for me it submits to my intense desire to be happy and rock d party. I wonder if it keeps any back up of memories or registry entry of events somewhere.
So to check I press upon it… the archived section is in to action… and I start remembering piece by piece…
I am in UD’s cabin the COO for projects under NID… he refuses to issue my stipend and write several mails to claim the same.
On the other hand mind starts parallel processing the endless details bit by bit of the bus I am designing… already in the sixth month of the project I am sick and tiered of enormous, monstrous, time consuming work which is not to lead me anywhere and not to let me go back… but who knew then ..That all those sleepless nights I spent are to go in vain… while I prepare the presentation of design and wait for rains to stop so that I could travel back to Bangalore and get done with the project.
Rain doesn’t stop, my stipend does … I shift back to hostel from the outside rented apartment … staying unauthorized, money less, aimless (no my parents didn’t stop the inflow of money… they didn’t know my stipend is stopped).
Till yesterday I was maintaining 2 apartments one at Bangalore one at Ahmedabad now I am unable to sustain even one. Rain postpones presentation- which postpones approvals- which postpones- stipends which postpones- reports- jury-convocation- new job joining- entry in international design team.
But who knew all that then… I am not so troubled by this postponement… sitting under the asbestos roof of the BMW (behind the metal workshop) canteen I love every bit of rains… it pours to please me … rains always give me sense of fulfillment, nourishment, care and I see my mom loving me through rains from distant land she sends these rain bearing cloud to pour over this asbestos shade to tell me I am still missed and cared and needed back in home.
It trances me back to home where its pouring now for 10 continuous day and I put on Megh Malhar in Kishori Amonker’s voice (when I visualize the voice I see sister not her)… loud … clear… enchanting she says… “maaan na kariye…. Tumhare karana aayo megha…” (Don’t be distant now that these rain bearing clouds have come just for you)… and calls me to get drenched in the eternal nectar pouring in the form of water drops…(Anandamrit…)
I stand in shade… refusing all the calls of Kishori Amonker of my mind and my trance breaks. Bus comes in front of me trapped in rains unable to move… and I laugh at my own imagery of situation…
Twitchy, jittery, agitated but not depressed but angry I come back sit in front of my booked computer in this big computer center… and there is a mail in the group mail… yahoo group … S is yelling “N(me) ko koi yahan se le jao (someone take her away from here) she doesn’t let me work… sits directly opposite in this comp lab troubling me distracting me”… I laugh at this regular prank S loves to play over group mail… approach him in person and see how his work is shaping up (he had recently designed costumes for a movie and it had come out well but documenting the same is being troubling him resulting in a prank on group mail). He smiles a naughty smile…and I read delay in documentation… but I also read determination…
“A” gets the joke over group mail and sends reply…
“Dip dip dip…. And it’s ready to sip…
If you want it stronger dip a little longer …
Dip dip dip…. And it’s ready to sip…” yes mine would be a great sip… a strong one a determined me declare…while reading A’s reply…
Diploma projects are considered never ending at NID . they seem unending to all who do them … but all at NID have to do them and it also ends as everything ends…. Sometime well, sometime short, sometime timely, sometime swarming, sometime tight, sometimes loose…
Mine too ended …. With bitter sweet memories … some acclamations and some bad words … I had my share of both…
Rain stopped exactly after 20 days (postponing my presentation twice) of this day and I could leave only on 15th of august delaying my project by 3 months in total… I paid for that stay… that delay… touched the greatest low of career … emotional distress… only to recover and come in shape when I shall meet him exactly after 2 years on the same date when he walked for 24 hours continuously to reach the nearest shelter…
That night he realized the hope he was clinging on was false that night I realized even when I seem to go down it is only to reach new high in the near or distant future.
Memories always betray me… I usually don’t have much to remember when I know I had suffered. I suffer and forget… erase the incidents and dates and there are no memories. Mind machine does it all for me it submits to my intense desire to be happy and rock d party. I wonder if it keeps any back up of memories or registry entry of events somewhere.
So to check I press upon it… the archived section is in to action… and I start remembering piece by piece…
I am in UD’s cabin the COO for projects under NID… he refuses to issue my stipend and write several mails to claim the same.
On the other hand mind starts parallel processing the endless details bit by bit of the bus I am designing… already in the sixth month of the project I am sick and tiered of enormous, monstrous, time consuming work which is not to lead me anywhere and not to let me go back… but who knew then ..That all those sleepless nights I spent are to go in vain… while I prepare the presentation of design and wait for rains to stop so that I could travel back to Bangalore and get done with the project.
Rain doesn’t stop, my stipend does … I shift back to hostel from the outside rented apartment … staying unauthorized, money less, aimless (no my parents didn’t stop the inflow of money… they didn’t know my stipend is stopped).
Till yesterday I was maintaining 2 apartments one at Bangalore one at Ahmedabad now I am unable to sustain even one. Rain postpones presentation- which postpones approvals- which postpones- stipends which postpones- reports- jury-convocation- new job joining- entry in international design team.
But who knew all that then… I am not so troubled by this postponement… sitting under the asbestos roof of the BMW (behind the metal workshop) canteen I love every bit of rains… it pours to please me … rains always give me sense of fulfillment, nourishment, care and I see my mom loving me through rains from distant land she sends these rain bearing cloud to pour over this asbestos shade to tell me I am still missed and cared and needed back in home.
It trances me back to home where its pouring now for 10 continuous day and I put on Megh Malhar in Kishori Amonker’s voice (when I visualize the voice I see sister not her)… loud … clear… enchanting she says… “maaan na kariye…. Tumhare karana aayo megha…” (Don’t be distant now that these rain bearing clouds have come just for you)… and calls me to get drenched in the eternal nectar pouring in the form of water drops…(Anandamrit…)
I stand in shade… refusing all the calls of Kishori Amonker of my mind and my trance breaks. Bus comes in front of me trapped in rains unable to move… and I laugh at my own imagery of situation…
Twitchy, jittery, agitated but not depressed but angry I come back sit in front of my booked computer in this big computer center… and there is a mail in the group mail… yahoo group … S is yelling “N(me) ko koi yahan se le jao (someone take her away from here) she doesn’t let me work… sits directly opposite in this comp lab troubling me distracting me”… I laugh at this regular prank S loves to play over group mail… approach him in person and see how his work is shaping up (he had recently designed costumes for a movie and it had come out well but documenting the same is being troubling him resulting in a prank on group mail). He smiles a naughty smile…and I read delay in documentation… but I also read determination…
“A” gets the joke over group mail and sends reply…
“Dip dip dip…. And it’s ready to sip…
If you want it stronger dip a little longer …
Dip dip dip…. And it’s ready to sip…” yes mine would be a great sip… a strong one a determined me declare…while reading A’s reply…
Diploma projects are considered never ending at NID . they seem unending to all who do them … but all at NID have to do them and it also ends as everything ends…. Sometime well, sometime short, sometime timely, sometime swarming, sometime tight, sometimes loose…
Mine too ended …. With bitter sweet memories … some acclamations and some bad words … I had my share of both…
Rain stopped exactly after 20 days (postponing my presentation twice) of this day and I could leave only on 15th of august delaying my project by 3 months in total… I paid for that stay… that delay… touched the greatest low of career … emotional distress… only to recover and come in shape when I shall meet him exactly after 2 years on the same date when he walked for 24 hours continuously to reach the nearest shelter…
That night he realized the hope he was clinging on was false that night I realized even when I seem to go down it is only to reach new high in the near or distant future.
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